“THE LONE RANGER” Movie Review. An Unlikely Duo bonds in this goofy classic Western.

“THE LONE RANGER” PRESS PREVIEW

I daresay that I’ve been a real big fan of the LONE RANGER comics during my formative years.

And I did look forward to the screening of this latest classic western re-make to jolt my memory of yesteryears. Growing up is hard to do.

The LONE RANGER  is a fabled masked character who, with his American Indian pal TONTO fights the lawless in the great wild West. He goes on to become the endearing icon of the American culture.

This film title may be “THE LONE RANGER”, but it is truly JOHNNY DEPP in a stirring performance as TONTO the stern-faced Red Indian that steals the thunder in almost every scene from his goofy masked screen partner.

Little wonder why the feature has not been named “TONTO” instead.

This one is the re-imagining of this new “feel good” Western that is nice, warm and entertaining, shooting its way to your heart and mind.

Go for it.

The producer is JERRY BRUCKHEIMER and the film director is GORE VERBINSKI.  The pair is the formidable team behind the blockbuster “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise.

Who is THE LONE RANGER?

He is John Reid (ARMIE HAMMER). After completing a law degree, Reid returns to his hometown, Colby, Texas, to become the city’s government prosecutor.

However, when his brother, Dan (JAMES BADGE DALE), is  brutally slain by the notorious outlaw Butch Cavendish  (WILLIAM FICHTNER) Reid realizes that some criminals operate above of the law and he turns to a different form of justice as a masked vigilante.

Is “THE LONE RANGER” an action flick or a quirky comedy?

It is both, so you have a fine blend of both worlds.

Here’s a crackling, high energy Western that delivers from start to finish.

You can count on it.

“PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, ON STRANGER TIDES” MOVIE REVIEW. ‘Tis a Colourful Swashbuckling Adventure in the GRANDEUR of 3D.

NOW, IS THIS FOR REAL?

“PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES” PRESS PREVIEW IN 3D

Cinema goers are a fussy lot.

You can count on this.

Tons of negative vibes have been spun now and then.

And it all boils down that it’s really a case of “much ado about nothing”.

The “PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN” film series did score – and will continue to reap a tremendous following, all over the world.

You simply don’t leave a viable money spinner lying around intact.

The film trilogy (so far) has a wholesome appeal that sticks to you like jelly-O.

And it’ll have the young, the adult and the old enamoured, making this a heavenly captive market.

So this is one gregarious escapist FAMILY entertainment with something in store for everyone.

Little surprise that sequel after sequel had been spawned in the past years, and this commercial vehicle will ride on and on to keep the magic of the legendary pirate JACK SPARROW alive, whether you like it or not.

“ON STRANGER SHORES” is the fourth film in the successful franchise line-up, helmed by ROB MARSHALL who had given us CABARET and MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA.

It’s a cash machine and money makes the world go round.

JOHNNY DEPP reportedly struck gold for picking up a 21-million pound pay cheque for reenacting his famous screen role. He is laughing his way to the bank – thanks to you, chum.

Welcome to the latest albeit craziest of the series, this time with the sultry addition of the vivacious PENELOPE CRUZ on board.

Conspicuously absent would the regular pair of star-crossed lovebirds – KEIRA KNIGHTLEY and ORLANDO BLOOM whose characters had been peremptorily taken off the hook by the screen writers.

A new angle with the storytelling and a totally new take this time round.

All for the first time, in the brilliance of the 3D phenomenon.

You will be bedazzled by the awesome colours, glorious action and swashbuckling adventure.

“ON STRANGER TIDES” ignites the explosive fun, adventure and humor as usual. JOHNNY DEPP returns to his iconic role of Captain Jack Sparrow and crosses path with a woman of his past, the enigmatic Angelica (PENELOPE CRUZ).

He thinks he has finally found love but discovers she is just a ruthless con artist who’s making use of him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth.

When she lures him aboard the “Queen Anne’s Revenge,” the ship of the legendary pirate Blackbeard (IAN McSHANE), Jack finds himself caught in a precarious situation in which he doesn’t know whom to fear more or trust less: Blackbeard the father or Angelica the temptress.

Everyone’s out to get a piece of the action, to find the seemingly unattainable fountain of youth by braving new storms and charting perilous terrains.

Expect a bloody swashbuckling mayhem.

Who’d have expected that the dangerous monsters are the sweet, vulnerable seductive mermaids, who are cruelly hunted, butchered and tortured along the way.

These vengeful mermaids cry “murder most foul” and counter-attack by leaping from the waters at the throats of the sailors and slitting the them alive.

Other death-defying perils?

You can count on the zombie pirates and a fire breathing ship.

“PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES” is one visually stunning, wildly entertaining and action packed adventure that will keep you enthralled, that is, if you suspend your disbelief mode.

It will be a love-hate relationship for many who will love it as much as there will be the same numbers who don’t.

But that aside, the crowds will return to the cinema for another round of PIRATES 5.

Trick or Treat?

SEEING IS INDEED BELIEVING.

“RANGO” Animated Film Review. WORTH waiting for, EVEN if it’s ONE too MANY.

“RANGO” Animated Film Preview

Let’s just say that too much of a good thing kills.

In recent months, there’s been a brewing storm-in-a-teacup on the subject of ANIMATED FEATURES.

We are spoiled for choice, with this endless deluge of motion cartoons on our platter.

It’s little wonder that anyone can get to be giddy-headed and animation-weary.

Are you an animated film snob?

Less can be more, in terms of quality.

Thanks to the marvels of the 3-D theatrical phenomenon, production houses worldwide are already smelling the cash, and are jumping on the bandwagon.

The heydays of cartoons and animated characters are definitely back.

Animation is big time, folks.

And the general audience by now would have gotten use to strapping on the special glasses and paying a little hefty extra for the price of a cinema ticket.

“RANGO” is another of those animated films that lay claim to being a blockbuster.

Thankfully, this one treads precariously on the old school, dispensing with the irksome 3-D.

At least JOHNNY DEPP’s name is on the bright lights lending his famous voice to this uncanny cartoon chameleon.

It may be his redemption exercise, after his recent dismal foray in that insipid “THE TOURIST”.

The “RANGO” character is personality-perplexed, a bug-eyed chameleon voiced by the ubiquitous JOHNNY DEPP.

He is a blur blob and at most times, deadbeat.

The feature is directed by GORE VERBINSKI (Pirates of the Caribbean), and it’s nicely done.

It’s a neatly assembled piece, no doubt.

RANGO could be one of the best computer animated films in recent years.

The action may start slowly at first,

but like a good workout, the “burn” comes on after fifteen minutes where the story takes off, cantering with a faint gallop before moving into full gear.

“Weirdo” characters take centerstage in a mood and tone that are peppered with stitching guffaws.

RANGO is a house pet chameleon who ends up lost in the desert and becomes the sheriff of a dusty town called Dirt that is facing a devastating drought.

Dirt is a frontier town in the baking hot Nevada desert.

This SPAGHETTI Western that will give ” True Grit” a run for its money. It even features a cute schoolgirl in pigtails, only in this film she’s a rat.

All the unlikely Wild West figures are there — from the boarish cigar-chewing mayor to the mean undertaker — and all played by a variety of mangy looking animals.

Providing voice duties are Brits Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy and Ray Winstone, alongside Harry Dean Stanton and Isla Fisher.

The surprisingly cute RANGO has hoodwinked his way into becoming Sheriff and soon finds himself up against a gang of gun-toting varmints and the suspicious disappearance of the town’s water supply.

Like, wow.

Please take note that this Reviewer wants to dispense with all the boring, highbrow technicalities on how a great CGI animated film should be “dressed” or made.

He is no expert on this.

It’s the film director’s business.

That said, “RANGO” is a quirky, computer-animated feature that is most ingenious, funny and wholesomely engaging.

It’s a gamely tribute to the era of spaghetti westerns,

yet it has a divine soul of its own.

“RANGO” is worth waiting for. Even if it’s just one too many.

“THE TOURIST” Movie Review. Beware! BEAUTY is KNOWN for its deadly FANGS.

“THE TOURIST” PRESS PREVIEW

Dare I say that “THE TOURIST” is akin to visual poetry?

Believably so.

It’s an engaging suspense thriller starring two of the world’s most fascinating celebrities, ANGELINA JOLIE and JOHNNY DEPP.

You have a pair of eye-scorching screen candies, a thought provoking plot, tough guys and a plucky dame, stylized art and heart-pumping action, all in one enthralling tale.

And they’re all assembled right before you, a feast for your eyes.

Do beware, though.

Nothing’s for free ….

BEAUTY CAN REAR ITS UGLY HEAD BECAUSE IT HAS DEADLY FANGS.

An innocent man is relentlessly pursued by mobsters after a chance encounter with a drop dead gorgeous woman who has ill-intentions.

Johnny Depp is Frank Tupelo, an American tourist in Paris who finds himself seduced and embroiled in a romantic tryst with British sophisticate, Elise (Jolie).

It’s apparent that Elise is using Frank as a decoy, to put the Feds on his trail, so as to divert attention from her criminal lover Alexander Pearce .

Soon these two become involved in a unlikely romance that drags them through the breathtaking, postcard perfect backdrop of Paris and Venice, before entangling them in a deadly game of cat and mouse between Interpol detectives and trigger free mobsters.

THE TOURIST directed by Henckel von Donnersmarck, is adapted from a 2005 French film called Anthony Zimmer, and packs a solid supporting cast that includes Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, Timothy Dalton, and Steven Berkoff.

But the real winner of the entire ensemble is clearly the cinematographer John Seale, who beautifully shot Paris and Venice, and costume designer Colleen Atwood, who dressed Jolie and Depp with gorgeous outfits from head to toe.

The storyline is preposterous, offering more form than substance.

The script is banal, layered with cliches and does not justify the presence of two mega stars, who can be put to better use.

There are times when the movie tends to be over-dressed, as if oven-fresh with a series of haute couture parades.

Angelina Jolie struts like a mannequin, looking statuesque and stunning in every pose and angle. For sure, the film director von Donnersmarck is besotted by her swaying arse than her acting prowess.

And for Johnny Depp, he is being paid millions of dollars to look listless, like a dud who has little or no attachment with his leading lady. Sucks.

Whatever the case, big names like ANGELINA JOLIE and JOHNNY DEPP sell.

Well and good.

They are box-office magic.

They rake in the money.

Essentially, THE TOURIST is crafted for the beautiful people, the fashionistas, the die-hard fans of JOLIE and DEPP.

And for wielding this one star power alone, this feature movie can do nobody no wrong.

Go get charmed.