It's a banner of hatred and separation, of bloodshed and violence that pits brother against brother.
It's a humiliation of irreducible proportions.
Hopefully humanity prevails, please.
All men are brothers, right?
MAKE LOVE, MAKE PEACE. NOT WAR!
Do your part. Spread HAPPINESS.
HAPPINESS is an aesthetic taste of the peace, love and joy in the world
expressed through the actions of another,
To feel joy is to the very essence of life circulating
and pouring through the body
and filling your heart with the world.
Here are the calming lines of an oldie hit "I LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING".
It's a song that tells us that THE WORLD CAN BE A BETTER PLACE IF PEACE DWELLS IN OUR HEARTS.
Banish MISERY, bring CHEER.
" I'd like to build the WORLD a HOME,
and furnish it with LOVE,
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves.
I LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING,
In perfect harmony,
I'd like to hold it in my arms
and keep it company
That's the song I hear,
Let the world sing today,
Let the whole world keep singing,
A song of peace that echoes on,
And never goes away.
I'd like to teach the world to sing,
In perfect harmony,
I'd like to build the world a home,
And furnish it with LOVE,
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves."
I am a huge fan of LEA SALONGA. She's one great soulful singer who infuses magic in her delivery. Just listen to her rendition of " I WANT TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING". With enormous gusto, she teaches us how to bring LOVE into THIS BAD, SAD WORLD. KONG HEI FATT CHOY, everyone!
And you think I am that bold and brazen to touch on the topic on butt-cracks?!!
I am a "crack-o", you say?
SURELY not, Sir.
LIke everyone else with sensibility, I am of the firm belief that the BUTT story may not be one savory tale to tell.
Just pardon my pun.
Please blame it on that 1980 hilarious "kick-arse" movie called THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY, warning us that this world is gonna be one big messy place to live in.
Isn't it true that the global populace is perpetually getting pretty stressed up, given the daily toil and grime?
Can't you see that the newspapers are screaming murder with sensationalism on all kinds of mayhem and frenzy?
For sure, people are resorting to all forms of crazy outlets to achieve stress therapy or sexual relief.
And for these who are "drowning", they are also clueless.
Just send in the clowns, as the famous song goes.
Heavy smoking, drinking or meditation when your feelings are intense don't help much, right?
You'll still wake up to face your same old problems.
Problems don't simply go away, mind you.
You need to face them and nip them in the bud .... ahem...butt.
Sorry, no religious or political innuendos here, I swear.
Thus it's good business to be practicing psychiatry, given the rising toll of "nutty" cases worldwide.
It's all due to the profound insanity of "modernisation" that psychiatrists are laughing all their way to the bank.
So go and enroll for a degree in psychiatry, if you on the cross road of a career move, man.
And mind you, my subject here dwells on my rants about CRACKING THE BUTTand is classified under the RESTRICTED ZONE lid designed for grown-ups only.
Kids, please stay away!
My story inspired by true events?
Tsssk, it's a secret, lah.
But I sincerely mean no malice to anyone in this globe.
Nor do I intend to cause hurt to NICE PEOPLE, dead or alive anywhere.
Again, if anyone is chagrined by my article after reading it, write to me and I will delete this entry immediately.
Now enter here with the absolute free mind of a matured adult.
Now the story unfolds:
The other morning, my Thai film maker friend and myself went to this musty old coffee shop in Bangkok where a bunch of retirees in their late 60s were busy discussing the topic of BUTT-CRACKING.
As they delved deeper into the subject, their rants and chants became more apparent.
It appeared that there was this devilishly handsome Thai hunk (a fashion-cum-ramp model) in his early 20s who was waylaid on his way back from work in his car, and was bundled off somewhere to a derelict hut and gang raped by 3 hurly burly guys with gusto.
Fortunately this pretty boy victim was left only bleeding and groaning with intense pain (of course, not pleasure) in his arse due to the gleeful non-stop vigorous thrusting.
And his precious "poop eye" had to undergo surgery with various stitches as saliva was used instead of lubricating jelly.
Unless any victim is willing, it is virtually impossible for anyone to reach for the "crack" that is privately lodged in between the butt checks, unlike the orifice of any vagina.
Anyway, it was a sheer case of male rape, and this victim was manhandled by 3 able bodied men.
It was a sad lesson that being cute sometimes had it price.
These old guys conjured a wise self-made adage, "You cannot be eating sardines everyday. So if you are tired with parking at the front, try the back."
My film maker friend was fascinated by the heated camaraderie from this argument and exclaimed excitedly "Ah, it's time to do a restricted art film on male rape!"
The perplexities of BUTT CRACKING?
Now, what actually is TAKING A CRACK AT THE BUTT?
BUTT CRACKING refers to the task of making a formidable entry into the anus.
The feeling can be likened to a CESSNA PLANE taking off into the clouds.
Or it could be like a giant BOEING screeching on landing at the runway.
Everything has an intercourse....hmmm ....cause.
Whatever it is, you are rocking the boat, man.
We all learn this from ANG LEE's famous movie BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.
Since HEATH LEDGER is no longer around, go ask JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
Smart move.
Now, you may ask, what is the function of the anus?
Oops....
What goes in the mouth and if not assimilated as body energy would be converted to wastes for defecation.
Every human expels wastes through the anus - poop goes the weasel !!
That is common sense, man.
But these days, some people clamour for sheer "adventure", using the anus for other purposes such as a pleasurable "journey" of sorts, much against religious and gender doctrines.
We are always fighting for causes - what are right and what are so wrong.
I can only stipulate these findings, but not smart enough to qualify statements, lest I step on sensitive "toes".
I cannot fight religious creeds. This is indeed taboo subject.
If you feel that another tsunami-in-a-teapot is brewing here, then treat this tale as another "piece of shit".
Now not only "the Gods must be crazy".
We are the crazed ones, man.
Everyday and somewhere, someone will swear "Oh, Shit!"
"Shit, man!"
"Fucking shit!"
Now, how does this shit comes about and where does this shit comes from?
The anus, of course.
Still stressed?
Just don't be anal.
Go take a quick laugh with this episode of "THE LITTLE ADVENTURES OF PENIS AND VAGINA" here.
Come on, say "brou-ha-ha" !!??
Let's not have the pot call the kettle black.
Finally, yah,
I am such a wise-crack after all.
In this world of sad stress, it pays to be funny, lah.
Here's a TRIBUTE to these much loved STARS that are shining ever so BRIGHT in the FIRMAMENT.
YOU WILL ALWAYS REMAIN DEAR TO OUR HEARTS:
"Twinkle, twinkle sparkling STARS,
How I wonder what you are,
Up above the world so HIGH,
Like pure DIAMONDS in the SKY,
Twinkle, twinkle sparkling STARS,
How I wonder what you are .... "
On FAME.
WHAT PRICE FAME?
"THE CROWD goes wild,
The FANS all cheer,
As the SHOW is done,
And the WORLD is focused
On YOU alone,
NOBODY else,
YOU alone are the soul of life,
YOU alone are the BEST,
YOU have everything they want,
Until the LIGHT goes DIM."
In loving memory of these Asian Stars of all times:
ANITA MUI, BARBARA YUNG, BETTY LOH TI, LIN DAI, DANNY CHAN, LESLIE CHEUNG, RICO YAN and PARNRAWAT KITTIKORNCHAREON (nicknamed BIG from Thai boy band D2B).
Gone, but forever fondly remembered in our hearts.
TOP 2 ROWS show CHAIWAT THONGSAENG, Thailand's hottest male sex symbol in a series of sultry poses, after his successful stint in his home-run movie BANGKOK LOVE STORY.
giving the female gender a competitive run for their money.
JANE AUSTEN was the author of the much-read literature-novel SENSE and SENSIBILITY. To borrow a pun from her, we are now touching on the subject of SEX and SEXUALITY or the WAR of the GENDERS.
In this time and age, it is common for men to strive to oust the women in the game of sex appeal and body beautiful.
15 years ago, it was deemed "sissy-ish" for men to adorn make-up and go for facials, but how time changes everything !
For the men, competition takes the form of the popular man-versus-female song "Anything you can do, I can do better !"
Look at the male pageants all over Asia where men dare strut the catwork displaying their well oiled and toned bodies in skimpy bathing trunks to conceal their precious "jewels".
If you ask them to sashay butt-naked, I am sure there will be many who will be more than willing to oblige for the price of fame and fortune.
As always, reality bites.
I know this once-upon-a-time Asian actor in the 90s whose make-up kit was bigger than those of his female colleagues, thereby making himself the prime target of some silly sexist jokes.
He did not even bat an eyelid then, but look at him now.
His popularity has sunk deep, and he is shunned by his peers and bosses for being a "wimp". Worse still, he no longer takes an interest in his looks and has preened himself for the role of an "ageing uncle".
Quite the opposite for someone as vain as this dude, who once lived for the purpose of stirring media attention.
Hey, TIME DOES NOT JUST STAND STILL.
We will all grow old someday, all of us. There's no escaping fate.
Look at Asia's best loved actors CHOW YUN FAT and TONY LEUNG.
In their hey days in the 80s they were both touted to be the ultimate Asian sex symbol in terms of looks and charisma.
Well, they are both going on strong in terms of successful careers as leading men.
We dare say their looks have matured gracefully and we still hold them in the highest regard as our matinee idols.
So what price sex appeal?
The perfect body with looks to match plus a certain kind of charm.
Oh yes, sex appeal cannot be cultivated. Either you have it or you don't.
It is au natural.
So YOU are the gorgeous hunk today. Good luck. Tomorrow's another day.
Treasure those around you - your family, friends and pets.
When your looks and body wane, they may not be there to root for you.
People come and go. Life goes on.
Maintain your courtesy. Because arrogance and pretension in an artiste can kill you one day, when you have slipped from your pinnacle. And when your sunshine friends no longer take a vetted interest in you or your welfare.
So NURTURE YOUR BRAIN, because when you are in the passe stage, you can trust that this is one thing that's not going to let you down.
Simply smashing, this hit song from BARBRA STREISAND about the simplicity of life.
She might well be right.
Clarity is defining, but what happens when one's life takes a treacherous turn and mirrors a thousand dampeners instead?
On grey days, against grey skies, when you're really feeling like a ton of shit,
And the stress is piling up in your head,
Hot raucous jokes would surely dispel the gloom and hit you guys like aphrodisiac,
Great?
Well, if it's all about SEX and SIN, then it's much ado about everything!
All MEN enjoy bawdy jokes,
They love sexy time,
They love to fornicate .....
Secretly they love to surf porn and sleaze.
Anything that can heighten esctatic pleasures or stimulate loins,
They like to brag about their physical endowments,
Brutes? NO ...
Men ....YES!
You'd hear, "I AM MAN. Here ... see me SNARL!"
Right on, let's get straight to the topic with these guilt-laden goodness.
Here're some of the tempting dessert treats with all the heavenly drools.
Yumm ......
1. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORAL SEX AND ANAL SEX?
A. Oral sex makes your day, and anal sex makes your hole weak.
2. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BITCH AND A WHORE?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
3. WHAT MAKES MEN CHASE WOMEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF MARRYING?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
4. WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMART BLONDE?
A. A golden retriever.
5. HOW CAN YOU TELL WHICH IS THE HEAD NURSE?
A. The one with the dirty knees.
6. WHICH SEXUAL POSITIONS PRODUCES THE UGLIEST CHILDREN?
A. Ask your mother.
7. HOW DO YOU EMBARRASS AN ARCHAEOLOGIST?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
8. WHAT DID THE CANNIBAL DO AFTER HE DUMPED HIS GIRL FRIEND?
A. Wiped his ass.
9. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LAY ON THEIR BACKS?
A. Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor-lock.
10. THE THREE WORDS MOST HATED BY MEN DURING SEX?
A. "Are you in?" or "Is it in?"
11. THREE WORDS WOMEN HATE TO HEAR WHEN HAVING SEX?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
12. WHY DO MEN TAKE SHOWERS INSTEAD OF BATHS?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
WOMEN have their scores too.
They love SEX as much as MEN.
Yet, unlike MEN, this is something they are not supposed to admit in public society.
Guys are guys.
They are the dominant gender proud of their sexual conquests.
SEX and SIN?
"Look ..... I am MAN. Hear me SNARL!"
I am sure, somewhere out there, a WOMAN is snorting with her disapproval.
WAR OF THE GENDERS?
Now be mesmerized by Philippine most famous female vocalist REGINE VELASQUEZ as she belts out her version of the classic hit song "I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME" extolling the anguish of a modern day woman. That was then, but time changed everything since. The world don't just stand still.
Guess who's the reigning queen of Sex Appeal in Asian Cyberspace?
It's VIVIAN HSU.
Miss popular perennial sex pot HSU QI does not even comes close, in terms of votes.
IF LOOKS CAN BELIE, then the face of VIVIAN HSU tells a thousand tales.
Her sweet, angelic face and doleful eyes certainly reek disarming innocence.
She is the kind you'd want to shield from being engulfed by this dangerous show business arena.
If you follow entertainment gossip closely, then you'd know that the celluloid world is very much like the naughty Hollywood series SEX AND THE CITY.
Of course sex sells, and maybe we should take a cue from EDISON CHEN who taught us on how to perform diabolical sex to silly aspiring nymphets.
Now back to VIVIAN who is cool, stoic, street-smart and is anything but her "child-like" demeanor
She is also one incredibly sexy woman, and oozes immnese appeal, has substance over form and a "please help me" pixie look that can get any awestruck guy all hot and heavy.
VIVIAN is likened to the 60s French sex kitten called BRIGITTE BARDOT who "purrs" pure sex at all times.
Most sexy sirens are positioned as the "come-hither" type - bitchy and forgettable, but VIVIAN has a virginal sweetie pie face and a voluptuous body.
That's what makes VIVIAN so special.
And VIVIAN is Taiwan's sultry export to the fickle world of sexism and fickle entertainment.
She is hugely popular in JAPAN and KOREA, where she is attaining A-lister STAR immunity by now.
So are you man enough or.... can VIVIAN wet up your sexual appetite with a little bit of wild and frenzied imagination?
You can't deny it's great for an uplifting sex life, a la tantric sex.
Here's how JAY O'TOOLE sums up sex appeal:
"We know how fickle bodies are,
Attraction will be gone,
We hope to some day be a STAR
but end up known by none.
How sad that sex appeal's so thin
The beauty that we hoped to win,
Now sings another's song!"
VIVIAN was discovered in 1990 when she won a talent contest in Taipei. Immediately after, she was contracted as one of the trio in a female band called SHAO NU DUI or PRETTY GIRLS BAND. Unfortunately this "PRETTY" band did not see the light of day, and suffered a sad fate.
Smart VIVIAN went on to "take the short cut route" by doing a sensual nude photo album called ANGEL HEART in 1995, and was soon awarded with 2 movie offers for artistic soft porns.
One was called NAUGHTY ANGEL and the other - ANGEL HEART, a la Lolita genre.
The nude albums and flicks brought her instant stardom, much to her relief and spurred her to do 2 more nude photo albums, this time called VENUS and DEVIL ANGEL in 1996.
JAPAN took notice of her nubile beauty and dare-to-bare artistry and encouraged by the unwavering support of the Japanese, she decided to sing again.
She released a hit single simultaneously in JAPAN and TAIWAN in 1995. Results were amazingly successful.
VIVIAN HSU finally achieved her dream to release her solo CD album called ANGEL DREAMING in 1996. She also recorded the KOREAN VERSION of this album after only 2 weeks of crash learning of the KOREAN language. Such was the experimental side of VIVIAN.
She made JAPAN her base in 2001/2 where she was a regular host and guest of JAPANESE VARIETY PROGRAMS. She even formed a JAPANESE BAND then.
In 2003 she flew back to TAIWAN and continued working there after achieving break-through fame in JAPAN and KOREA.
She has another latent talent - lyrics writing.
She has written for JAY CHOU and LEE HOM, to name a few.
Her star is on the rise year by year, specially so in KOREA and JAPAN.
In native TAIWAN, she is respected as an established artiste, but the adulation is never the same.
As you can see, everything is always "angel" about VIVIAN HSU.
It's the word that garners fame for her for more than one decade.
And that's a pretty long time by now.
Now, with an angelic face to die for as in VIVIAN's, how can one possibly go wrong?
This is evident in her constant demand of appearing in KOREAN soaps and films and product endorsements.
VIVIAN HSU. Waif-like innocence and naivete personified.
Naturally, like everybody else, I have heard and read "tons of gossip" about FANN WONG, the popular SINGAPOORE Media Corp belle over the years, but that's normal for any artiste to be talked about. BAD NEWS IS STILL NEWS and it's better to be a subject of controversy than not at all. Gossip garners publicity, and as long as it's not malicious, it doesn't hurt.
So it's about time I write my piece on FANN WONG as a "fitting tribute", and happily so too.
No, I do not claim to know FANN's private persona, but I had collaborated professionally with her when she was a top-notched model with the now defunct IMP MODEL AGENCY in Singapore sited at Specialist Center, Orchard Road once upon a time.
FANN WONG had a glorious modeling career in the early 90s when she was managed by IDA ONG, the affable, serious and no-nonsense owner of IMP.
We had worked on a gamut of print ads with ace fashion photographer WEE KHIM, and a slew of television commercials in 1990/1 when I was helming key fashion and high profile superstore accounts with an international Ad Agency in Singapore, and FANN was already showing great promise then as an aspiring actress.
One day, out of curiosity, I presented her with a script for a reading at the IMP's office with veteran actress CHIA PING KAI and lo and behold - FANN read the impromptu script with relish and excitement, infusing feelings in her lines. Having known her as a model, I was therefore taken aback. Models usually cannot act or read parts without the acquired training, but there was FANN, like a fish "out of water", gasping for every breath to prove her worth.
FANN was a media darling - always stoic, hardworking and on-time for her shoots with us. All the production crew loved her. She had a face that could launch a thousand ships and a spontaneous smile to "die for".
Why did I use past tense here? Because I have not been in touch with FANN WONG more than ten years as I spend most of my time in Asia, and time has really flown.
I understand from industry insiders that she was discovered by one talent scout with Singapore Media Corp in 1994 and she debuted in a well received television drama series called DREAM COMES TRUE. From then on, she morphed from the twenty something leading actress to Singapore's favourite AH JIE (supreme big sister or superstar so to speak).
In the years to follow, FANN WONG always electrifies as the glowingly beautiful damsel, and she was a hot contender to only one La Femme contender ZOE TAY who gives her a run for her money.
The only difference is that ZOE TAY has been married for some years and has two children whilst FANN is still the ultimate single girl but not-at-all available. She has screen hunk CHRISTOPHER LEE as her beau and they are tying the knots some time next year, according to grapevine news.
Are FANN and ZOE great pals? Two's company but in tinseltown it's hard to maintain heart-to-heart camaraderie with your closest rival, despite the brave front you may want to put up. Either you die or I perish, la.
Each would have her own clique of bosom buddies. Bravo.
FANN has been criticized by some die-hards to be a "phoney" or "superficial", but this one I am not sure.
But ZOE TAY is heavily lauded to be a super nice AH JIE who takes care of her friends. Many long years ago, when ZOE still owned a pet farm in PASIR RIS SINGAPORE, I dropped in to check out a chihuahua. She was there and she personally came up to me and extended a warm welcome. She needn't have to, but she took the trouble.
This is the wonderful side of ZOE, the maestro with the fashionista touch.
In the feature film arena, FANN WONG has a better standing. Producers and fans can't get enough of her. She has starred in Hollywood blockbusters with JACKIE CHAN and OWEN WILSON in SHANGHAI KNIGHTS and DANCE OF THE DRAGON with JASON SCOTT LEE.
Closer to home, she has recently scored in Singapore's most beloved slapstick director JACK NEO's JUST FOLLOW LAW and AH LONG PTE LTD. In one, she played a corporate hussy and the other, a gangster moll. Both local movies earned scathing media reviews for bad scripting, but boomed gleefully at the box office. Cheers.
FANN WONG has always been written in a heightened way and living in a heightened world, so there must be an appealing quality about her.
There's of course, the usual bad-blood rumour every now and then, but she will be a true grit survivor on this.
Despite the current GLOBAL economic upheavals, mindless wars and political furore, THAILAND is still very much THAILAND - land of wonders.
Putting aside the plastic people, the advertising tagline AMAZING THAILAND is still so apt.
You just can't keep curious people away - the tourists come in droves, millions of them each year, recession or not, for budget scenic charms, the ready sex and massages - on the cheap.
SEX and the CITY? Yes, plenty.
In THAILAND, you can get cheap thrills without having to burn a hole in your pockets.
You name it, THAILAND has it.
What of the THAI CINEMA?
Well, there are gems and there are forgettable disasters, just like in every other country.
The THAIS are proud of preening their craft. They are indoctrinated to self-proclamation that they are the best around.
TRUE?
CERTAINLY NOT, industry insiders beg to digress.
CREATIVITY is always subjective, and to each his own.
There's always a ready pool out there in the rest of ASIA, waiting to be tapped.
Unlike SINGAPORE, MALAYSIA and the PHILIPINES where most films are being shot on the HD format to curtail production costs, THAILAND is quick to differentiate that their features (mostly) are still produced on 35 mm film.
In the last 18 months, there were notable THAI films such as the first ever THAI investment of 200 million baht- ONG BAK 2 which garnered mixed reviews - great bone-crunching fight scenes - but a weak storyline.
TONY JAA the action star has a darkish complexion, lacks screen charisma and has only a stoned one-dimensional look.
His acting clearly lacks emotive depth, unlike the current HONG KONG rage DONNIE YEN who has wowed us with his vivid performance in IP MAN.
Now, let is talk about the LOVE OF SIAM, produced at less than one-tenth of the ONG BAK 2 budget but is still raking in news and money.
It's the most memorable film-to-date and has touched the hearts of most everybody who has seen it.
Now, who is saying that only colossal budget features carry the best weight?
You need a great storyteller gura like CHOOKIAT who's master-of-the-art at rendering beautiful treatments.
LOVE OF SIAM scored for MARIO MAURER and WITWISIT HIRANYAWONGKUL who went on to become teenage icons even long after all the brouhaha has died down.
Never before has a THAI movie carried so much "steam".
It's one that you have to watch with your eyes, see with your heart and experience the remarkable tenderness of LOVE OF SIAM.
Even I was amazed.
The audience's response was unpredicted and unprecedented as the film was originally slated to be "just a simple love story" to tug at your heartstrings.
LOVE OF SIAM did more than just that.
It brings home a message that:
IF IT'S LOVE or IF YOU ARE IN LOVE,
JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAM.
LIFE HAS NO FINER MOMENT.
The film's signature song KAN LAE KAN or translated as "JUST YOU AND ME, MY LOVE" sums up the many facets of love.
Love can lift you up, and let you down sometimes.
Love is agony, hurt and longing all rolled into one.
But what is life without love?
KUDOS to WITWISIT and MARIO for their superb sensitive acting in their debut feature.
The scene whereby WITWISIT sings to MARIO, you can almost feel the intensity of their love. The exchange of adoring glances between them speaks a thousand words.
It's like embarking together on a journey of life and hope.
NOW, here's the condensed version of the lyrics of "JUST YOU AND ME, MY LOVE" that I have translated personally as a befitting tribute to this wonderful film LOVE OF SIAM by CHOOKIAT SAKVEERAKUL:
"IF I had told you that this SONG was penned specially with YOU in mind,
You may not have believed,
It might not have been as lovey-dovey as the other ballads,
Yet love songs cannot be written
without true feelings from the heart,
As it was for you,
The words just flow freely......
You could have listened to a thousand ballads,
Some may touch you deep inside
And mean nothing more
But the moment you hear this song,
You'd know at once that the lyrics are dedicated to you only,
We have this beautiful memory that we should cherish.
It's as though we are embarking on life's journey
by listening to the pitter-patter of our own heartbeats,
